SOMETIMES I SUFFER FROM ORDER DISORDER

Urban Dictionary defines order disorder as the inability of a restaurant patron to complete an order because they're overwhelmed by the choices.

I often experience order disorder at BBQ joints.  The number of protein choices stops down my brain.

I came down with an extreme case of order disorder at Hutchins BBQ.  I planned to get some Texas Twinkies -- smoked, bacon-wrapped jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese and brisket.  That day they still had them available, but they also had everything else: beef, two kinds of sausage, chicken, turkey and pork.

While my brain calculated the amount I wanted, my stomach loudly calculated which meats I was craving. I placed my order, skipped the sides, jumped in my car and left in a cloud of smoke. Halfway home I realized my mistake.

It was a textbook case of order disorder.